Debunking the Charger Myths

The Chargers won their preseason game on Saturday, beating the Cardinals 33-31 on a last second Nate Keading field goal. I’d spent about 12 hours at the beach that day so by the time the game started I was as dead as a doorknob. I managed to watch each of the team’s first drives, a little bit before the half, and the last minute or so when the Cardinals took the lead before Billy Voleck drove the Chargers down the field to set up Keading’s field goal. Needless to say, I didn’t miss anything important. You gotta love preseason football.

As for the Chargers prognosis thus far: I think their offense is going to be “out of this world” good and I’m taking a “wait and see” approach on their defense. They haven’t really blitzed or done anything other than play their basic coverages so it’s hard to tell if they’ve improved. I’m assuming they’re saving it for the season so I guess we’ll “wait and see.”

In any matter, the NFL regular season is a little more than a week away and naturally I’ve been an information whore on anything Charger related. What gets me is that the Chargers are so strong from top to bottom that it almost seems like the media is nitpicking their team for weaknesses. There is no reason why the Chargers should be rated behind the Colts or the Patriots in the various power rankings out there.

So because I’m such a nice guy, I’ll take the time to breakdown some of the myths out there about these so called “weaknesses” the Chargers have:

Myth #1: “Norv Turner won’t hack it as a head coach of the Chargers because of his 58-81-1 record as head coach of the Raiders and Redskins.”

First of all, it’s completely unfair to compare those Raiders and Redskin teams to the team Turner has now. We’re talking Aaron Brooks and Gus Ferotte compared to Phil Rivers. LaMont Jordan and Terry Allen as opposed to LaDanian Tomlinson. Doug Gabriel and Stephen Alexander compared to Antonio Gates. In 2004 with the Raiders, Turner’s leading rushers were Zach Crockett and Amous Zereoue and his quarterback was the immortal Kerry Collins. (I went to Zereoue to try and get a comment about this but his shift manager at Wendy’s said he couldn’t take a break until guy working at the fry station showed up.)

I mean, how in God’s name did anyone expect Turner to win with a team like that?

People forget that Bill Belichick was 36-44 in five years with the Browns and a year with the Patriots before he turned it around with that team. Remember the back page of the New York Post called him “Beli-Chicken” after he resigned as Jets coach one day into the job so he could take the Patriots gig? I’m not saying Turner’s the next Belichick. I’m just saying there are some parallels. Belichick was once slapped with that “only a coordinator” label too and a lot of people didn’t think he was outspoken enough to be a head coach either. Before we evaluate him, Turner deserves a shot with a good team. The way I look at it, if he rolls off 13 or so wins this year, wins the Super Bowl and rolls off another 13 wins or so and wins another Super Bowl his record won’t look so bad and suddenly everyone will be calling him an offensive genius and the next Don Coryell.

Myth #2: “The Chargers don’t have a proven #1 wide receiver.”

This is like when a woman decides another woman isn’t hot because of something totally unrelated to hotness.

Example 1: Jennifer Hewitt isn’t hot because she has a long neck.

Example 2: Pamela Anderson isn’t hot. She looks like a bimbo.

Example 3: Jessica Simpson looks fake.

(For the record these are things that I’ve actually heard other women say)

Appropriate response to any of these absurd criticisms would be, “Yeah, but take a look at her (fill in appropriate body part).”

In this case: Yeah the Chargers don’t have a proven #1 receiver but take a look at LT and Antonio Gates.

When someone is indisputably good (or good looking) snide comments like are just plain ridiculous.

Myth #3: “The Chargers don’t have a back-up nose tackle.”

I read some guy dock the Chargers for this last week and I thought it was the most absurd thing I’ve read during the month of August. How many NFL teams even have a good nose / defensive tackle to begin with? Who’s the Patriots backup nose tackle?

Granted, the Chargers defense wouldn’t be as good without Jamal Williams but chastising them for not having a quality backup doesn’t make sense -- especially when the schmuck who wrote it probably doesn’t even know who the backups are (for the record they are Brandon McKinney and Ryon Bingham and they are not bad players.) and 2/3rds of the teams out there don’t have a decent defensive tackle to begin with.

Absurdity to the nth degree.

Myth #4: “The Chargers are going to miss Donnie Edwards.”

I heard Peter King say this over the radio and I’ve gone 10 rounds with the guy who delivers mail in my office about this. Let me tell you five things:

1. Matt Whilhelm is a younger, more physical player than Donnie Edwards.
2. Matt Whilhelm will make more plays than Donnie Edwards ever did.
3. Matt Whilhelm will become a fan favorite.
4. Matt Whilhelm’s backup, Tim Dobbins is also better than Edwards.
5. AJ Smith never, ever, ever… ever, ever, ever misses on a personnel call. Never. It just doesn’t happen.

The same people who are upset about losing Edwards are the ones that were worried when the Chargers to let go of Drew Brees, Toni Fonoti, Hanik Milligan.

Remember in Goodfellas when Henry Hill comes into the bar all worried that the cops are onto them about the Lufthansa heist and Jimmy Conway grabs him and says, “Don’t worry, everything is beautiful..” That’s me when I hear complaints about moves the Chargers make. When AJ Smith is in charge, there’s nothing to worry about. Of course everything wasn’t exactly beautiful for those guys in Goodfellas but… whatever. I’m just rambling. Let’s move on.

Myth #5: “The Chargers defense will be less aggressive under Ted Cotrell.”

From what I saw, the Chargers under Wade Phillips, were aggressive in their front seven but passive in the secondary. From what I’ve seen and read so far this Charger defense -- under Cotrell and linebackers coach Ron Rivera-- will more aggressive all around.

I think I got an erection this morning when I read in the paper that the Chargers were thinking about blitzing their corners and disguising their coverages better. Holy crap, you mean you shouldn’t just play prevent all the time? I’ve already noticed that they’ve been trying to strip the ball on tackles (like the Bears who were coached Rivera) and if this team can force a couple of turnovers a game, they’re going to be unstoppable.

So there you have it. Stop trying to nitpick the Chargers. Just admit that they are a perfect team and enjoy watching their Super Bowl run(s).