The Kevin Towers of Blogging

“I just want to scream ‘Hellooooo!’ My God it’s been so long, never dreamed you’d re-turn…”

--Pearl Jam

With that said, the LamLogs are back! A nearly four month hiatus was exactly what I needed to get this thing going again. My blogs were becoming boring, predictable, and uncreative. In other words, I was becoming the Kevin Towers of blogging. Now, I feel like a middle aged woman after a botox injection: Rejuvenated and spunkier than ever.

Let’s talk about sports…

For the third straight year, the Padres failed to do anything to address their incompetent offense and for the third straight year they are a boring, uninspiring team and that is about to crap the bed. Look at some of the position players they’ve acquired over the past three years and tell me why you’re surprised that they can’t score any runs:

2004-2005 Off-season (after an 87-75 season where they ranked 7th in team batting average and 18th in total runs scored): Dave Roberts, Mark Sweeney.

2005 record: 82-80. .257 team batting average (25th in MLB), 684 runs scored (27th)

2005-2006 Off-season: Doug Mirabelli, Mike Piazza, Mark Bellhorn, Geoff Blum, Vinny Castilla, Adrian Gonzalez, Mike Cameron, Terrmel Sledge.

2006 record: 88-74. .263 BA (23rd), 731 runs (22nd)

2006-2007 Off-season: Marcus Giles, Kevin Kouzmanoff, Jose Cruz Jr.

2007 record to date: 63-54 (on pace for 87 wins). .244 BA (30th) 507 runs (24th)

So to summarize, the Padres: Finished 18th in total runs scored. Signed a past his prime veteran and a bench player. Ranked 27th in runs scored. Signed three past their prime veterans, four bench players, and took a flyer on a young player. Ranked 22nd in runs scored. Signed a veteran past his prime, a bench player and took a flyer on a young player. Rank 24th in runs scored.

I can’t wait until this winter season when Scott Podsednick and Mark Loretta are their big offseason acquisitions.

You know what they say: Garbage in, garbage out.

While it is unsurprising, the only thing aggravates me about the Padres is that they are effectively wasting one of the best pitching staffs they ever by not going out there and acquiring someone who can hit the ball.

And I’m absolutely tired of Towers saying he won’t trade this guy or the next guy to get a legitimate hitter. Let me be the next in line to ask: “WHY THE HELL NOT?”

Would you rather have five guys in your bullpen with a sub-3.00 ERA or would you rather trade off some of that surplus for a hitter that could help you score more than one or two runs a game?

Here are the moves I would have made at the trade deadline if I were the Padres:

1. Adrian Gonzalez, Chase Headly and Clay Hensley to Texas for Mark Texiera.The Rangers got three prospects from the Braves for Texiera but I’m thinking they’d rather have Gonzalez (a much better 1B replacement than Saltalamachia), Hensley and a pretty decent third base prospect in Headley.Everyone raves about Gonzalez but there are at least a dozen first baseman I’d rather have right now than him. As for Texiera, everyone keeps talking about his contract but he isn’t a free agent until after the 2008 season. With the pitching staff the Padres have, I’d take my shot at the next two World Series and let 2009 worry about itself.

2. Khalil Greene to Boston for Willy Mo Pena and Dustin Pedroia.I think Kevin Towers is the only person on the planet who still believes Khalil Greene is going to be a good player at PetCo Park. The Padres’ offense is so pathetic that Pena actually would look good in their lineup. I would have taken him off of the Red Sox’s hands, asked for Pedrioa and put him at SS.

3. Mike Cameron, Heath Bell, and a pitching prospect for Robinson CanoThe Yankees need relievers and Cameron would have been an upgrade in CF over Melky Cabrera now that Johnny Damon has predictably broken down. The Yankees recently traded for Wilson Betemit so they would have played him at second in place of Cano.Check out what the Padres’ lineup would have looked like had they made those moves:

Giles- RF
Pedroia- SS
Texiera- 1B
Pena- LF
Bradley- CF
Cano- 2B
Bard- C
Kouzmanoff- 3B

Heck of a lot better than a lineup that features the likes of Morgan Ensberg and Rob Mackoviack huh? The fact that Towers can’t think outside of the box (“The box” in his case would be picking bench players and relief pitchers) to get a deal done is unconscionable. If you employed a strategy to fix an ongoing problem at your job, and that strategy consistently failed, and you continued to employ the same failed strategy, it wouldn’t be long before you’d probably be packing groceries at Henry’s. I know dogs that are smarter than this. And yet somehow, miraculously, Towers still has a job.

And now in more exciting news…

The Chargers played their first preseason game last night. Their starters got flagged for a bunch of penalties, and they generally looked like crap. Quite frankly, I’m delighted. The worst thing that could have happened is for this team to roll through the preseason, develop a false sense of security, and get steamed rolled the first two weeks of the season when they play the Bears and Patriots. Lack of focus is the only thing that can keep the Chargers from the Super Bowl this year. They needed a game where on consecutive plays Craig Davis fumbles a handoff and Malcolm Floyd drops a wide-open pass. Better in August than in February.

With that said, I’ve never been more excited for football season. I think it’s a combination of another lackluster Padre season and the fact that the Chargers have a real shot at giving San Diego its first championship in a major sport. It’s going to be exciting this year and man, am I fired up!

And unlike the Padres who barely have two exciting players (Peavy and maybe Hoffman) the Chargers have legitimate star power. I can count nine Pro Bowlers off the top of my head (LT, Neal, Gates, Rivers, McNeal, Merriman, Jamal Williams, Keading and Osgood) and at least four more players who could be Pro Bowlers after this season (Dielman, Luis Castillo, Scifers, and Shawn Phillips). That means they potentially have 13 Pro Bowlers on their team which is exactly ¼ of their 52-man roster. Amazing!

AJ Smith is Michael Corleone (savvy, smart, resourceful) to Kevin Tower’s Fredo -- totally, completely and utterly incompetent.