Week 4 Picks

I’ve been so busy at work this week that I haven’t had the time to weigh in and rant on Drew Brees ruining my chance at winning the office pool with his four interception, one fumble performance on Monday night; the Lakers potentially trading Lamar Odom and Brian Cook for Shawn Marion; or Brian Giles’ go-ahead three run homer in the ninth to win the game for the Pads on Tuesday. I also didn’t have the time to do as much research as I’d like in picking these games so you’re getting the Ryan Leaf effort this week instead of the Jake Peavy effort. Sorry about that, but God knows this blog isn’t paying the bills.

Here are the picks (team listed first is the team that I picked):

LAY THESE ON THE WAY TO YOUR BETTORS ANNONYMUS MEETING:

Cleveland +4.5 vs. Baltimore
I said it before the season started and I’ll say it again: Baltimore isn’t very good this season. That’s all I have to say. Told you you’re getting the Ryan Leaf effort this week.

Houston -4 at Atlanta
Get ready for the deluge of features Sunday morning about Matt Schaub returning to Atlanta to face the Falcons. While we’re here, is there a more unsurprising story than Michael Vick failing a drug test for pot? The guy is about to go to the clink, he’s suspended from the NFL, and when all is said and done between the cost of lawyers, and loss of salaries and endorsement money, he’s going to be out about $100 million. What do you want him to do, skip down the street? I would have been more surprised if there was a story that said Michael Vick hasn’t been toking it up.

Miami -3.5 vs. Oakland
Holy crap! I just realized that Daunte Culpepper is going back to Miami to play against the Dolphins this week, Jamal Lewis is returning to Baltimore, Matt Schaub will be playing in Atlanta, and Donnie Edwards will be returning to play against the Chargers. Plus you got the two Arizona coaches facing their old team. Did the NFL plan this or something? Hopefully Kenny Mayne doesn’t notice so we can avoid being tortured with a “Mayne Event” about this.

ALMOST TOO CLOSE TO CALL:

Philly -3.5 at New York Giants
How’d you like that bounce-back performance for McNabb last week? 381 yards and four touchdown passes. Yup, nothing like throwing the race card out there to get yourself motivated. After I’m done with this blog I’m ripping off an “Asian auditors are subject to more scrutiny than white auditors” email and sending it company-wide to motivate myself to get back to work.

Seattle -2.5 at San Francisco
This game is definitely way too close to call. Frisco looks like it has the potential to be a good team but just isn’t quite there yet, and I haven’t really been impressed with the Seahawks so far this year. But the Seahawks are on the road, Alexander is hurt, and Frisco beat the Seahawks twice last year so you know what? I’m going with…

Frisco +2.5 vs. Seattle.

There. Much better.

Tampa Bay +3 at Carolina
Even though the Panthers are favored, I’m not so sure they’re the better team. The Bucs barely lost to the Seahawks and easily handled the Saints and Rams while the Panthers barely beat the Rams, got killed by the Texans and needed that DeAngelo Hall meltdown to beat the Falcons.

UNDERDOG SPECIALS

Minnesota +3.5 vs. Green Bay
The ratio for teams beating the Chargers and then having me pick against them the following week must be like 326-1.

Detroit +2.5 vs. Chicago
I don’t think Vegas has caught on to how crappy the Bears are yet. Half their defense is hurt, their running back is a wuss, their receivers are terrible and they just benched their quarterback for Brian Griese.

Remember, signs of desperation include: searching your couch cushions for change so you can afford to buy booze, stealing from your family or friends, smoking a cigarette that someone has already put out, hooking up with a fat chick (well unless you’re into that type of thing), and benching your starting quarterback for Brian Griese.

Arizona +7 vs. Pittsburg
Do you think there’s anyway ex-Steeler coaches Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm are going to let Pittsburg come into their home stadium and beat their team by more than seven points? I don’t either.

SCOT WRIGHT SPECIALS

Dallas -14 vs. St. Louis
This line looks almost too easy. The Cowboys are on a roll and Steven Jackson is out for the Rams. Also, this week Marc Bulger revealed that he’s been playing with two broken ribs. Thanks pal. Maybe next time you can tell me that before you score negative points for my fantasy team. Jerk!

San Diego -11.5 vs. Kansas City
My uncle Steve from Scripps Ranch asks: “San Diego teams are pathetic. Is it because of the weather?”

Yeah, I guess it’s kind of hard to worry about winning and losing when you live in a city where during the fall and winter seasons the temperature fluctuates between 75 and 63 degrees. Not to mention the fact that as a collective group our women make women from almost every other city look like livestock.

Yup, let me tell you, it’s a tough to maintain that competitive edge in this type of an environment.

FREE MONEY

New England -7 at Cincinnati
As much as I like Cincy I can’t see them staying with the Patriots for four quarters. This game will be competitive for about a half then Bilichick will go in, decipher the Bengals’ signals and the Patriots will blow them away.

(No, “Camera-Gate” jokes are not yet old)

New York -3.5 at Buffalo
The Jets will be facing a defense decimated by injuries and an offense with a rookie running back and a rookie second round draft pick at quarterback making his NFL debut.

Indy -10.5 vs. Denver
Quite frankly, despite their 2-1 record, I don’t think the Broncos are very good.

With nothing else to add, I went 10-6 last week against the spread which was my best week this season but I lost the office pool to a Pilipino lady in Accounting and went 0-3 on my parlay. Kill me now!